As I’ve mentioned the writing style I’ve adopted for BirthRight is apparently rather unique. I didn’t think anything of it when I began so when my first beta reader said ‘weird, takes a few pages to get used to’, it was like being dashed with cold water. Rather a shock.
I have multiple POV changes. I’ve utilized it with the intention of giving the reader a ‘rounder’ view of the story and characters. It also keeps the story going at a nice pace. If you imagine a group of five people in a circle telling a story. Each person puts in their piece. It might be a few paragraphs and it may just be a sentence – an off hand observation from another character whilst one of them is doing something. Here’s an excerpt as an example.
“So what are you thinking?”
Sian called to me, from over a couple of rows.
“Maybe an elve? Like from Lord of the Rings”. I frowned as I looked over a couple of pieces, “I’m not sure if I’ll go as a character I think I’ll just make it look fantasyish. Good thing I have the boots already”. I grinned at
A groan rose from the three of them and my grin widened. “What? They’re the perfect style”.
“We’re gonna have to bury you in those boots aren’t we Cat?” Asked Kassie, a sardonic expression on her face. “Yes and I expect an open casket so everyone can admire them”, I wrinkled my nose, poking my tongue out at her.
Sian started laughing. “Oh god I just had the best visual of you as a little old lady in a coffin in a mini-skirt and thigh-highs”.
“What if we just get them cremated and put in a box beside you?” Suggested Loi with a wicked gleam. “Not all of us are five eight Miss Loi”, I replied in a snippy tone “I like my legs looking long and slim!” Not that I could complain when standing next to Kass and
Sian but still. At five, five my legs are pretty decent. My gorgeous black suede, thigh high boots, however, make them look that much longer. And sexier. It’s my guaranteed head turner.
Kassie ignored the girls as they continued to tease Cat about those boots of hers. What the heck can I wear? Kassie thought, I hate costume parties! She kept dragging piece after piece down the rack, shuddering at the squeal of the metal hangers on the pole. Ooooh, she froze for a moment staring at it. That might be it!
“Well then how about this?”
Sian glanced up, wondering what Kassie had come up with this time. A pretty summer dress hung from the hanger. A beautiful blue/gold shade in a sleeveless, draped style. “That’s gorgeous!”
Sian was impressed. “We’ll make you a Greek goddess!”
“No lets make her Ce’Nedra from the Belgarid – we can dye her hair red”, suggested Cat. “Don’t want to be the only red-head?” teased Loi. Cat gave her a narrow look “I love been the only red-head thank you. I’m just too tall for Ce’Nedra”.
It’d be nice to be too tall for something, thought
Sian. Being so petite meant that shopping for clothes was a nightmare for her (and Kassie – though having curves made it a little easier). Most the time she had to shop in the children section. Actually I might have to do that, she thought as she looked at the few items left in the size six section. Then she spotted it. Hell yes!
Loi stared at the item
Sian was clutching, gushing in delight over.
A pleather romper suit.
What the heck was she going to do with that? Loi’s mind went blank in astonishment. Out of the four of them
Sian always had the most daring and usually sexy costumes. But this? “Siany”. Loi hesitated, “what are you going to do with it?”
“Oooohh!” We chorused in recognition
“Awesome idea!” I enthused.
Sian loves the Underworld movies. It was perfect for her. I threw the items I’d selected in Loi’s trolley and went to help Sian look for leather pieces to create the corset. “Hurry guys!” Kassie called “we’ve got an hour before class starts”. Ugh. Jujitsu on a Saturday – this is what happens when you have too many hobbies. They don’t all fit into the work week.
My main critiquer – the amazing Kerrin *grin* (and if you’re into romance check out her site! She’s gonna be the romance writer) has issues with the number of POV’s. Namely she isn’t fond of it and is concerned that publishers will hate it. Which is totally fair enough, she possibly isn’t wrong. Of course it does ultimately come down to opinion and while K isn’t so into it the other beta readers I have like it.
So it leaves me wondering, am I having an American Idol moment? Do I think I’m the most amazing thing while people block their ears and run in horror? I really, really want to stick to ‘my style’ but at the same time if it’s awful I would want people to tell me. How many people telling you it won’t work should you listen to?
Which of course then brings up the examples of previous writers/scientists/inventors/explorers who even though the whole world it seemed was telling them they were wrong, still did it, and now are put on pedestals as examples to others who would achieve.
I guess in the end I have to like it and be able to live with it. After all, it’s my work that ends up immortalized…