A Masquerade Burlesque Ball with performances by a variety of ‘exotic’ dancers. No not the naked types. So far sound like a good evening? Well that’s what we thought.
Sian and Loi had planned to go to the ball for the last week or so and I wasn’t intending to go seeing I’d be up the bush. But as you know that didn’t happen *grin* So Sian got Glenn and I tickets and we raced round on Saturday like mad hatters finding masks.
Then came the prepping. 15mins of setting my hair in hot rollers which stayed in for a couple of hours. Taking Glenn’s dress pants up. Carefully applied eye-make up in shades of crimson, gold and sunset like my mask. Whilst I was doing this Glenn was carefully scrubbing the glitter off his mask and spray painting it matt black mixed with a shimmering blue. I extracted my hair from the rollers accompanied with squeals of delight – it looked so cool!!
Then came the tricky part…The corset.
Glenn just managed the fiddly part of getting the hooks and eyes done up but the lacing stumped him. Thank god Mum & Dad are living in the driveway at the moment *lol* does that sound like white trash or what! Anyway he raced off to get Mum who is the klutz when it comes to fiddly stuff. So then I dashed out to their fifth wheeler bursting in on my astonished father. Dad has been a tramper since he was like ten *grin* so lacing he aces at. So much so that the whole breathing thing was more than a little tricky!
We arrived in town and waited out the front for the others. Heaps of people stared but I just focused on breathing *giggle* it got easier! The others arrived and we all ooohhed and ahheed over each others gorgeous corsets and costumes. The boys looked suave in dark shirts, masks and dress pants. When we got inside everyone looked a-m-a-z-i-n-g and we were pretty excited!
Then we discovered that the $25 tickets didn’t include seats..hmmm not impressed – specially in heels and a corset!! Okay so maybe the show will be so spectacular it’ll distract us.
Act 1 – Anastasia the belly dancer. I’ve actually done a few years of belly dancing. I even got the nickname dimples. Don’t ask… So Anastasia comes out and does some serious lacklustre undulating.. yep totally enthralled. *Yawn*
Act 2 – A Fan Dance – Ooooh this looks promising. Not sure about the song. An Evanevance song. Hmmm. Aren’t they meant to take off some clothes? Maybe just one piece? Nope. Oh, okay. Pretty fans I guess…
Act 3 – A tango. Kay. Not very passionette – kinda imagined it’d be a hint sexier and I’m pretty sure that chick is counting her steps. This is meant to be a professional show right? (Asked
Sian – actually these people are all either teachers or placed high in competitions. This is why a tiny country can be a BAD thing at times – sure you won first place but you were only competing against two other people and one was lame..)
Act 4 – A super duper hula-hoop routine by an AMAZING circus performer. And wow is she good. One, two, three hoops! Making the fly up and down her body and spinning round her feet! Doing a backwards roll and keeping them spinning. WOW.
Interval – already? Each act is barely 3 mins long. Huh, lots quicker than I expected. A pole is erected on the floor in front of the stage. Tipsy women in scant outfits have to be chased off as they keep giving the audience very good views of their underwear..or lack of *gasp*. Who knew alcohol and a stripper pole was such a saucy combination ; p
Act 5 – Two girls in red and black corsets and decent froufrou skirts get on stage. Each carries a chair. OMG please tell me she didn’t just get stuck trying to turn around on the chair?? Yikes… yep even getting her stocking off is proving tricky. Oh dear. Out strides a scary leather clad woman who leaps on the pole. Skilled? Hell yes! Terrifying – HELL YES! She climbs backwards up the pole and presses herself against the roof as though lying down. WOAH!
Act 6 – A salsa dance by a group of girls. Kinda blah. Bummer, such cute outfits.
Act 7 – A timid looking dumpy secretary gets on the stage. So does the woman from the dull fan dance. A silly little skit plays out as the fan dance chick ‘coaxes’ the secretary to loosen up. Major WTF moment. Dumpy secretary rips off her clothes while racing manically round the stage and then spinning her not so hot large boobies tipped with tassels. Kinda like one of those slow motion car crash moments. Loud applause though, cause lets face it – it WAS entertaining and possibly nightmare inducing..
Next few acts I actually can’t remember. But the last dance…
Out comes bad fan dance lady. Clad in a tiny sparkly bikini. With three candles…Why? Oh okay one for each hand – but where does the third one go? OMG NO!! *gulp* Yep.. jammed between her butt cheeks.
Sure, she’s pretty darn clever about it. Cause doing a headstand with a lit candle in either hand and the third one jammed between fake tanned butt cheeks is sexy.
Oh yes, sexy with a capital S…
It was an interesting night *chuckle* and it sure makes for interesting memories!