Nicole MacDonald Author

Author Nicole MacDonald's website

  • Book Store
  • Gar’nysian Treats
    • Creating the BirthRight Trilogy
    • Characters from the Trilogy
    • Q’s & A’s
    • Map of Gar’Nyse
    • Valentine Snippet
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

Thursday Writing Tip – Simple English

March 24, 2011 by Nicole 8 Comments

And no I’m not referring to ‘simple’ as in for those who speak English as a second language, but keeping that in mind may help you.
What I’m talking about is sentences that describe/tell/explain your story in a way that’s succinct and to the point.  Without excessive flowery language or those often overused adverbs.  There is no right or wrong way, really, just keep it simple.  Remember you don’t need to fully describe something to a reader immediately.  Just mention single points as you go along.  For example if I was to describe my appearance I could say, “A female in her mid to late twenties with mid length dark red hair”.
Now there’s nothing wrong with that sentence at all, but I could have just said, “A woman with red hair” and then as I continue in my writing, mention other descriptions.  If I felt the need.  Often we as writers get so involved in intense descriptions to make sure the reader can place themselves that we forget how easily a simple sentence can place us.  Here’s another example
“The blustery wind wrenched at her coat as she hurried down the main road, its icy fingers clawed at her collar and she quickly did her top button up”
“The wind was icy and she fastened her coat’s top button as she walked.”
Again neither of these are right or wrong but the simple sentence does still get the same point across.  What are your thoughts?  Any favorite examples?

Take care all!
Nic
 The Arrival, only $3.99 on Amazon or UK Amazon or $3.99 on Smashwords 
Buy it today! 
signature

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Pre 2016 posts Tagged With: Simple English, Thursday writing tip, Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Francine Howarth says

    March 24, 2011 at 9:09 am

    Hi,

    Nothing wrong with keeping it simple and succinct if writing YA or category romance, in particular HM&B easy-read style or that of action packed fast-read thrillers (200/250 pages max). Yet, both Robert Ludlum and Tom Clancey novels are heavy on descriptive prose, and heavy on pages.

    But, as one brought up on Jane Austen and War & Peace, plus the classics, Shakespeare/Plato etc., for me *well-written* flowery prose is a must in womens' fiction. I want a long satisfying read with sense of time and place (fed naturally). I want to feel what characters are feeling/seeing, not a mere glimpse of characters and brief environmental descriptions slipped in between reams of dialogue. If I want dialogue I'll watch a movie!

    Pet hate: head-hopping POVs without defined page break or subtle exchange.

    JMO as a fifty-something mom. 😉

    best
    F

    Reply
  2. Kerrin says

    March 24, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Hi Nicole, i hear you about the simple language, but i feel it adds so much to the putting the reader right there.
    Sure if you are in a fast paced scene, too much description will pull out of the story, and you'll need the short sharp sentences.
    I love the long descriptions 🙂

    Reply
  3. Rowenna says

    March 24, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    I think my favorite writing is somewhere in the middle–too simple and I don't feel engaged enough, I don't enjoy the turn of the language. Too flowery, however, and the real language punches–and your point–get lost in the muck. So my preference on your second example would be something more like "The icy fingers of the wind clawed at her collar and she hastily fastened her top button."

    Reply
  4. Deeds says

    March 24, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    i've struggled with this. in my professional life i'm a definite k.i.s.s. (keep it simple/stupid). other words, take the least amount of words possible to get your point across because most people only give you the first page to explain yourself.
    but as I work on my book, i keep finding myself wanting to be more descriptive, more expansive.

    Reply
  5. Bossy Betty says

    March 24, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    Yes! Yes! I hate it when people go crazy dressing up their sentences in a ball gown when the occasion just calls for an apron.

    Reply
  6. Sean says

    March 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    I agree with Bossy Betty, after all she's the boss. I think the days of flowery metaphors and similes have wilted away like a daffodil in… awe nevermind. The trick is to let your readers make intuitive leaps with you, and to do otherwise can come off as condescending.

    I recently returned to a favorite classic that demonstrates how to keep it simple better than any other book I've read. In Goosebumps: Ghost Camp, RL Stine fires off one succinct sentence after the next that kept kids engaged from one book to the next within his successful series. Now, these sentences are of course too short for anything other than a kid's book but you can really get the message that shorter, lighter, faster is the wave of the e-future.

    Reply
  7. Nahno McLein says

    March 24, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    I'm glad you pointed that out in an "easy and simple" manner.

    Yes, this is a common mistake (one I used to make a lot) and it's good for writer's to know. You described it really nicely too. Thanks
    Nahno ∗ McLein ™

    Reply
  8. Fluid Idleness says

    March 24, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Great advice. Proust should have someone to give him this advice 😉

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

http://www.pinterest.com/dmslinadrtydrss/https://www.facebook.com/TheBirthRightTrilogyhttps://twitter.com/DmslinaDrtyDrss https://instagram.com/damselinadirtydress/http://www.wattpad.com/user/DamselinaDirtyDress

Thank you for stopping by my website. Be sure to visit my blog for sneak snippets of what I'm working on. And don't forget to grab your free copy of The Arrival via the Book Store (in the tabs at the top of the page) - enjoy!

Tags

Amazon earnings Awakening Award Birthday book review book trailers Bush trip Character Monday competition concepts critique darwin awards E books editing English Friday Funnies fun help hut inspiration Kindle Links Miscellaneous new beginning OMG plot poem rant re-write road trip Science Fiction steps synopsis t-shirts The Arrival Thursday writing tip Tuesday Riddle Twilight Uncategorized video Wednesday Review Welcome win a free copy of The Arrival wood stove Writing tips

Archives

Copyright © 2019 · Custom Design by BD Web Studio · Powered by Genesis