And no I’m not referring to ‘simple’ as in for those who speak English as a second language, but keeping that in mind may help you.
What I’m talking about is sentences that describe/tell/explain your story in a way that’s succinct and to the point. Without excessive flowery language or those often overused adverbs. There is no right or wrong way, really, just keep it simple. Remember you don’t need to fully describe something to a reader immediately. Just mention single points as you go along. For example if I was to describe my appearance I could say, “A female in her mid to late twenties with mid length dark red hair”.
Now there’s nothing wrong with that sentence at all, but I could have just said, “A woman with red hair” and then as I continue in my writing, mention other descriptions. If I felt the need. Often we as writers get so involved in intense descriptions to make sure the reader can place themselves that we forget how easily a simple sentence can place us. Here’s another example
“The blustery wind wrenched at her coat as she hurried down the main road, its icy fingers clawed at her collar and she quickly did her top button up”
“The wind was icy and she fastened her coat’s top button as she walked.”
Again neither of these are right or wrong but the simple sentence does still get the same point across. What are your thoughts? Any favorite examples?
Take care all!
Nic
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Hi,
Nothing wrong with keeping it simple and succinct if writing YA or category romance, in particular HM&B easy-read style or that of action packed fast-read thrillers (200/250 pages max). Yet, both Robert Ludlum and Tom Clancey novels are heavy on descriptive prose, and heavy on pages.
But, as one brought up on Jane Austen and War & Peace, plus the classics, Shakespeare/Plato etc., for me *well-written* flowery prose is a must in womens' fiction. I want a long satisfying read with sense of time and place (fed naturally). I want to feel what characters are feeling/seeing, not a mere glimpse of characters and brief environmental descriptions slipped in between reams of dialogue. If I want dialogue I'll watch a movie!
Pet hate: head-hopping POVs without defined page break or subtle exchange.
JMO as a fifty-something mom. 😉
best
F
Hi Nicole, i hear you about the simple language, but i feel it adds so much to the putting the reader right there.
Sure if you are in a fast paced scene, too much description will pull out of the story, and you'll need the short sharp sentences.
I love the long descriptions 🙂
I think my favorite writing is somewhere in the middle–too simple and I don't feel engaged enough, I don't enjoy the turn of the language. Too flowery, however, and the real language punches–and your point–get lost in the muck. So my preference on your second example would be something more like "The icy fingers of the wind clawed at her collar and she hastily fastened her top button."
i've struggled with this. in my professional life i'm a definite k.i.s.s. (keep it simple/stupid). other words, take the least amount of words possible to get your point across because most people only give you the first page to explain yourself.
but as I work on my book, i keep finding myself wanting to be more descriptive, more expansive.
Yes! Yes! I hate it when people go crazy dressing up their sentences in a ball gown when the occasion just calls for an apron.
I agree with Bossy Betty, after all she's the boss. I think the days of flowery metaphors and similes have wilted away like a daffodil in… awe nevermind. The trick is to let your readers make intuitive leaps with you, and to do otherwise can come off as condescending.
I recently returned to a favorite classic that demonstrates how to keep it simple better than any other book I've read. In Goosebumps: Ghost Camp, RL Stine fires off one succinct sentence after the next that kept kids engaged from one book to the next within his successful series. Now, these sentences are of course too short for anything other than a kid's book but you can really get the message that shorter, lighter, faster is the wave of the e-future.
I'm glad you pointed that out in an "easy and simple" manner.
Yes, this is a common mistake (one I used to make a lot) and it's good for writer's to know. You described it really nicely too. Thanks
Nahno ∗ McLein ™
Great advice. Proust should have someone to give him this advice 😉