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A Funny! Creative Puns for Educated Minds

July 28, 2010 by Nicole 8 Comments

Enjoy people *grin* and many thanks to BE for her entertaining e-mails.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of maths disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road, and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre: “Keep Off The Grass”.

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your Count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects! 

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Filed Under: Pre 2016 posts Tagged With: fun, Puns, Uncategorized

A fun one! What’s your ‘If I won lotto’ plan?

July 7, 2010 by Nicole 3 Comments

Here are some questions with my answers and I’d really love to hear your answers – this is my fav game to play when I’m stuck on the train and not wanting to read/write etc.
Do you need to be a millionaire?  How much would be your ideal win?
I think 3 million would be nice, enough to be able to sort ourselves out for life and still be able to help everyone else out (family/friends etc).  It’d be invested for several months before we saw much if any of it!
What would be the first three things you’d buy (and this is the purely selfish question!! Just for yourself we’re talking about here)
  1. A jeep wrangler sport in forest green with a dark tan soft top
  2. A kindle!!!
  3. A beautiful new lightweight laptop (don’t tell my Toshiba!)
What would be the first three things you’d buy/do for others?
  1. Pay off my friends and family’s bills (within reason!)
  2. Take my three close friends on the Paris trip we’ve promised each other when one of us wins lotto *grin*
  3. Buy Glenn THE home theatre system – though he’d probably beat me to it ;p
Would you continue working?
For a bit while I got everything into order, then I’d fulfill my dream of being a writer and designer full time!
Would it influence your reasons for having a family.
Currently thoughts of kids just aren’t happening, but I would give it more consideration then.  I don’t feel the need for kids but I do love them!  At the moment however, I love giving them back too *grin*
There are so many other questions I could ask, this game can go on and on.  Let me know what your answers are to these questions and what’s a question you would ask?
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Filed Under: Pre 2016 posts Tagged With: fun, lotto, Uncategorized

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